What Happens When I Get On The Treadmill In Tears...

Yesterday was one of those mornings...
The day before was a rough one, too.  And despite my consistent attempts to start my mornings with Jesus, my Bible and a colorful pen, I don't always succeed in listening to His "good morning" voice.  On the contrary, my week had been a silent culmination of moody days that led to the massive emotional (and hormonal) exchange I had with my children and my husband.
I felt like the victim.  A clown.  The chauffeur who drives around and runs everyone else's errands... unappreciated.  I felt like I was "doing ALL THE WORK" around here.  And that my voice was "never heard".  Misunderstood.  Unloved.  Put down.  Etc, etc, etc...  WOW, Helen!  

All before 8:05am.  

The thing is... it was ALL in my head.  My perception of what was said and done had nothing to do with reality.  NOTHING! 

So, I stormed downstairs to our basement and got on the treadmill...  IN TEARS!  

I put my headphones on and hit the mat running... literally.  Well, more like speed walking.  I was furious and sad and angry and all over the place.  I had tears flowing down my face.   I was a mess!  At minute 2:14, I was wishing I had brought down some very needed Kleenexes... oh well... wiped on my shirt and kept going!  Remember, I was full of energy and needed to burn it... FAST!

But instead of tapping on my Podcast app, I decided to let MUSIC minister to me.  I know I'm not the only person on this planet who has been deeply touched by music.  The lyrics, the melody, the Holy Spirit moving through every note and word.  And yesterday morning, that is exactly what I experienced.  

These were the 6 songs that completely changed my mood, my attitude, and my demeanor.  Every single one of them ORDAINED to flow through my ears and touch my mind, soul and hurting heart.  Broken heart.  
1. "First" by Lauren Dangle
2. "Lord, I Need You" by Matt Maher
3. "No Longer Slaves" by Bethel Music
4. "Praise You In This Storm" by Casting Crowns
5. "O Come To the Altar" Elevation Worship
6. "Revelation Song" Kari Jobe
(Links to YouTube videos are NOT affiliate)

If God can control the order of my Amazon Music app, how much more is He able to lead me to a place of complete peace.  A peace that surpassed my understanding.  The opposite of chaos.  He breathed in me the assurance that He is God, that He is Good, and that He loves me.  I needed to focus on Him first.  And to enter into a place of surrender and humility.  I needed Him.  

So, 30 minutes later, I returned to my living room feeling renewed and refreshed.  The cloud had lifted and I felt like I had just seen God.  He had spoken to me through music.  Sure, my shirt was a mess!  And I had visual remnants of yucky tears.  And yes, it took me a little longer to get ready for the day.  But I was no longer alone or feeling forgotten.  I walked taller.  

Have you experienced God through the power of music?  Have you heard directly from Him?  What did you hear?    

So today, let me encourage you.  If you're feeling alone.  If you're feeling rejected or unseen.  If you're grieving.  Abandoned.  Restless.  Unsure of the unknown.  Worried and anxious about decisions you need to make.  If you're waiting for God's answer to a prayer unanswered.  Let God wipe your yucky tears.  Let Him speak... Let Him breathe... and let Him use the music in your car, radio, music app, to speak when you no longer have words to say.  

"Have you not known? Have you not heard? 
The LORD is the everlasting God, 
the Creator of the ends of the earth. 
He does not faint or grow weary;
his understanding is unsearchable.
He gives power to the faint,
and to him who has no might he increases strength.
Even youths shall faint and be weary,
and young men shall fall exhausted;
but they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength;
they shall mount up with wings like eagles;
they shall run and not be weary;
they shall walk and not faint."
Isaiah 40:28-31 (ESV)

Leave a Comment

  1. Oh my gosh girl I have totally had God minister to me through the order of my playlist. All of those songs are amazing. Thanks so much for sharing your heart, it is refreshing!