That's right, friends. I woke up with a crummy attitude yesterday...
Even after spending time with the Lord, even after meditating on His Truth and reading that He is my "bread of life" and that if I come to him and believe in him, I would not hunger or thirst for anything else.... Oh, Lord... have mercy on me!
Even after spending time with the Lord, even after meditating on His Truth and reading that He is my "bread of life" and that if I come to him and believe in him, I would not hunger or thirst for anything else.... Oh, Lord... have mercy on me!
When my schedule didn't line up with the events of my morning, and I was asked to "change" my plans, I became a mean woman! Yup! Mean. Short-tempered. And to be honest, not fun to be around. If my little girl could see my heart, she would say that my heart was "black". Yup... not gray, not semi-dark or semi-clean. It was "black". But why? Because I didn't have it my way? Because something in my schedule didn't go as planned? Because it didn't happen the way I planned? "Boo-hoo, Helen!" "Puh-LEEEse, woman!" Right? Those were all internal and stinky talks going on in my sorry brain!
So, what did I do? I decided to go into the "other" grocery story... not the one I usually go to, but the way with a "coffee shop" inside... SO I COULD GET MYSELF A TREAT. That's right. I "NEEDED" a Peppermint Mocha to heal my sorry attitude!
It smelled so good! And while strolling through the aisles with my 3-year-old, I was patient and collected, and even willing to say "yes" to looking at the fish AND the lobster tanks! Why not? I had my Peppermint Mocha at hand! So we took our time. Noah looked at every fish tank in the Pets aisle. And talked to every moving lobster in the Seafood area. (Poor Noah... if he only knew that those lobsters were actually swimming in death-row style... ) But if you know me, you know that I take my time drinking my "special" treats. And this was no exception. So much so that when I got back home, I still had a little bit of my Peppermint Mocha, now cold, available. I opened that cup and realized how syrupy and dark and thick that was. For some reason it didn't look good or dreamy anymore. It just looked... over-done! The glamorized drink had lost its sparkle. It had lost its warmth and nostalgia. So it sat on my kitchen sink. Wasted.
And so did my attitude. I got mad that I had wasted cash on a not-so-special drink! And I was disappointed that I had wasted that cash! And on and on and on.
Hadn't I just heard from God's Word that HE IS THE BREAD OF LIFE that morning? That He is enough? That those who come to Him and believe in Him would not thirst again? I had JUST read that in John 6! It also reminded me of the story of the paralyzed man in chapter 4, whom Jesus had healed. This man had been sitting in his paralysis for 38 years and even after Jesus asked him, "Do you want to be healed?", he couldn't answer the question, straight up! And the worst tragedy... he didn't recognize who had healed him. He didn't recognize Jesus in the miracle.
I don't want to miss the miracle. I don't want to miss Jesus. I don't.
Now, don't get me wrong! I would be the first to tell you that I'm a coffee nut! I've been drinking coffee (back in Brazil) since I was a young girl... and a sweet coffee treat always brings me comfort. I like the taste. I like the aroma. And I like how it brings friends together! AND... That Peppermint Mocha gave me temporary relief from anger and frustration. But it didn't HEAL my sorry attitude. It couldn't.
God's Spirit had to take me back to His Word. Again. And for that, I'm thankful.
"I am the bread of life; whoever comes to me shall not hunger, and whoever believes in me shall never thirst." John 6:35
When and where have you seen Jesus lately? How is He speaking to you? I'd love to hear from you!
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