Excuse me while I ramble...

Can I just pause for a rambling session tonight?

Thank you!  I mean, excuse me while I do that...  you're more than welcome to stay and list/read.

Thank you for doing that, actually.

*sigh*

I am exhausted!

I don't even know where to begin.  

Sure, I'm 38 weeks into my third pregnancy, and at 36... let me tell you... carrying a baby for almost 40 weeks is NOT easy.  Especially since the chores around the house don't stop existing, my 4 and 2 year-olds continually need their mama, and a good night of rest and sleep is almost non-existent at this point.

I kept thinking to myself, "Okay, Helen.  I am going to attempt to enjoy every moment of this pregnancy, since this will be my last."  And I like to think that this is NOT a complaining session...  No, it's just a rambling session.  Okay?

I'm also amazed at how much this baby, this little one I haven't even met, already has a huge chunk of my heart.  We've gone through a pretty serious scare this past Saturday, and I will NOT easily forget it.

Baby was breech.

We knew about it at week 29, when I had my very first ultrasound.

And baby was breech at week 35 and 37.

So after multiple consultations, my doctor suggested an ECV, External Cephalic Version.  It's just a fancy name for a procedure where an experienced physician turns the baby from the breech to the head-down position, externally.  

The ECV was scheduled for this past Saturday morning.  I was confident in my doctor, and fully trusting that God had me and this baby in His hands.

After relaxing my uterus with some "special medicine", the doctors tried to guide my baby to do a forward flip, and baby did not budge... and actually caused him/her some distress, dropping his/her heart rate significantly for a good 2-3 minutes.  

The scariest minutes of my life!!!!

But baby recovered and we were both monitored for the next 90 minutes.

The choice became mine and Joel's... Do we allow the doctors to go ahead with a second attempt?  This time, a back flip?

I trusted my mama instinct and, in tears, said "yes, I want to try again".

This time, the doctors assured me that if the baby didn't move within the first minute, they would stop.

At an attempt for a back flip, the baby began to move and turn within the first 30 seconds... and in less than 2 minutes, baby was head-down!!!

I cried!

I cried in relief!

I cried because I KNEW God was present!

And now I cry because I can't wait to meet this little one!

This past Saturday was a raw reminder of how fragile life is, and how special in God's eyes you and me are!

I am so thankful to have had Joel by my side that morning...

I know that as he held my hand, he shared that same fear with me... a fear of the unknown, but fully trusting in the ONE that knew all along the destiny of our child.  

So, I post all of this tonight for my own records.  I want to be able to come back here and say, "Wow, God was already working in this baby's life, even before he/she was born!"

And I don't ever want to forget how I felt, as I heard this baby's heart rate drop... and how long those 2-3 minutes felt, as the nurse and doctors tried so hard to bring it to "normal".  

SO SCARY!

But now I wait... 

And that in itself is exhausting.

So, excuse me while I rambled tonight.